HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

Steve Curry, Who Was on "Hair" Poster, Dies at 68 -- NY Times

never really gave this celebrity helluva lot of  thought

next:

Whipped Dream And Other Delights Model Gets Just Desserts

Make Way For Ducklings Poultry Is Dead Duck

Unknown Soldier Identified Through DNA, Ousted From Tomb

Coppertone Tyke Fades Into Sunset

Betty Crocker Flames Out

Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben Fades To Black Following Rear End Bus Accident

Elsie Goes To Slaughterhouse

Taps for Ann Miller

Rolling Stones Tongue Is Silenced

Mrs Paul Gets The Hook

Paula Deen Goes South

Teenage Enema Nurse Craps Out

Jeff Stryker Blows His Wad

Divine Eats Shit, Dies

WHAT DO YOU CALL...

. . .a truly wretched rendition of an iconic  New Orleans sandwich?

SCROLL DOWN

A Piss Po Boy.

This Po attempt at humor brought to you by, ahem, Golden Corral.

RIVERS' EDGE

Joan Rivers being brought out of medically induced coma as family considers lawsuit over botched procedure: sources - NY Daily News

Ka-Ching!

Relatives of World's most surgery-happy (but still unattractive) freak are already plotting lawsuits against doctor before patient is even dead?? Sue God, fer chrissake! When/if Joan had died any time in past 30 years odds are good it will be in window of recent surgery!

HITLER YOUTH TOASTER PASTRY

How much did some team of marketing geniuses charge to come up with an androgynous Aryan kid who looks like poster boy for NAMBLA junk food?

ROMAN SCANDALS

POLANSKI, CHILD REALITY STAR IN SECRET MEETINGS FOR KUBRICK REMAKE

Reuters (7/12/14)--FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

In what could easily be one of the  most mind-boggling movie deals in recent memory, exiled Oscar-winning director Roman Polanski, currently enjoying strong reviews for his film version of the play Venus in Fur, is reportedly in hush-hush meetings with Alana Thompson (aka "Honey Boo Boo Child," redneck rapscallion of reality TV fame) to star in a remake of the 1962 Stanley Kubrick classic Lolita.

Although Polanski is keeping mum, reps for the white trash wunderkind confirm the star of both Tots and Tiaras and her wildly popular eponymous spin-off, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, have been involved in negotiations for a remake of the provocative pederast pic, based on the still-controversial Vladimir Nabokov novel.

Although project is still in talking stage, one major sticking point to date is a demand by Boo Boo's mother, June Shannon, that she co-star in role originally played by Shelley Winters. Another thorny issue is that Polanski is forbidden to enter USA following kiddie rape conviction in Seventies but reps say modern technology could allow him direct from Europe via closed TV.

"It's a great opportunity for Honey Boo Boo and June to show they are more than just WalMart slobs," says one insider. "June is already on a low Twinkie diet to get down to screen weight to play Lolita's mom. During the past month alone, she has already lost a half a pound."

Polanski reportedly is hoping to land Robert DeNiro  for the crucial role of Humbert Humbert. Barring that, he is already said to be investigating the possibility of creating a posthumous performance from digitally enhanced clips of the late hayseed sensation Junior Samples.

LIMP RIST

Cousin Oliver was a lesbian? Who knew?

THE SEVEN YEAR DITCH

Wasn't there one like this in Tommy?

MY EYES ABHORRED YOU; or, JERSEY SORE

Although Jersey Boys has received the sort of mixed reviews that suggest it will not be topping many Best Ten lists at year's end, only six months into the current movie year the chronicle of the Four Seasons appears to be a shoo-in for honors in one field yet not recognized by Academy Award voters: Namely, Best Achievement in Anachronisms, a distinction best appreciated by fuss-budget film goers who love nothing better a period picture that turns modern history into chronological chowder.

Consider:

In one time-tripping sequence set in 1951, Frankie's girlfriend squawks because he won't take her to see The Blob...perhaps because he realizes it won't be released until seven years later.

In the same time frame, one of Frankie's pals references the song "Earth Angel," which wasn't even recorded until 1954.

And the Way-Back Machine slams into reverse in the same segment when the pal delivers a cheesy Ed Sullivan impression in which he "introduces" Topo Gigio, the Italian rodent puppet who didn't appear on Sullivan's show until 1964. (It doesn't help that later in the movie, while making their debut on The Ed Sullivan Show, the band doesn't even know who or what Topo Gigio is.)

Flash forward to 1960, where the most prominent piece of artwork in a record exec's house is a large framed image of a Campbell's soup can...which Andy Warhol didn't unleash on the art world until 1962.

When the group makes it debut appearance singing "Sherry" (1962) on the Sullivan show, much is made of the fact the program is being aired in color...even though the show was actually broadcast in black and white until late 1965.

When Valli and Bob Gaudio (now sporting long hair and wearing an Easy Rider-era fringed suede jacket) drop into a diner in the late Sixties- early Eighties, the beanery advertises a 25-cent plate lunch. This at a time when a quarter wouldn't even buy a burger and a Coke at McDonald's.

And, after hearing an account of one band member's horrible hygiene, disgusted Mob boss Christopher Walken utters "Thanks for sharing" decades before that became an all-purpose sarcastic rejoinder to too-much-information.

Yes, thanks to careless writing and sloppy set decoration, the Jersey Boys were indeed ahead of their times...in more ways than one.