Sunday, July 13, 2014

ROMAN SCANDALS

POLANSKI, CHILD REALITY STAR IN SECRET MEETINGS FOR KUBRICK REMAKE

Reuters (7/12/14)--FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

In what could easily be one of the  most mind-boggling movie deals in recent memory, exiled Oscar-winning director Roman Polanski, currently enjoying strong reviews for his film version of the play Venus in Fur, is reportedly in hush-hush meetings with Alana Thompson (aka "Honey Boo Boo Child," redneck rapscallion of reality TV fame) to star in a remake of the 1962 Stanley Kubrick classic Lolita.





Although Polanski is keeping mum, reps for the white trash wunderkind confirm the star of both Tots and Tiaras and her wildly popular eponymous spin-off, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, have been involved in negotiations for a remake of the provocative pederast pic, based on the still-controversial Vladimir Nabokov novel.

Although project is still in talking stage, one major sticking point to date is a demand by Boo Boo's mother, June Shannon, that she co-star in role originally played by Shelley Winters. Another thorny issue is that Polanski is forbidden to enter USA following kiddie rape conviction in Seventies but reps say modern technology could allow him direct from Europe via closed TV.

"It's a great opportunity for Honey Boo Boo and June to show they are more than just WalMart slobs," says one insider. "June is already on a low Twinkie diet to get down to screen weight to play Lolita's mom. During the past month alone, she has already lost a half a pound."

Polanski reportedly is hoping to land Robert DeNiro  for the crucial role of Humbert Humbert. Barring that, he is already said to be investigating the possibility of creating a posthumous performance from digitally enhanced clips of the late hayseed sensation Junior Samples.